Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The ABCs of Post Halo Bliss

A is for ABS
The only good thing that came out of the halo (apart from it saving my life) is that it gave me rock hard abs. I had to use my core to carry my top-heavy weight around. What’s crazy is that I am still flexing my abdominal muscles post-halo when I move around because I have grown used to it.

B is for BRA
These fun bags haven’t seen a bra in three months. I feared my breasts would permanently tilt outward on each side after the halo was removed, since the halo vest made them do that. But miraculously, they are intact. No more Barbarella chain mail.

C is for CHOPSTICK
My nephew said he didn’t sleep the rest of the night after he found the chopstick under his pillow. He was so mad at me he got up and threw it out his window. I will have to find another way to torture him now…

D is for DRIVING
I can’t for at least two more weeks.

E is for EVERYONE
All of the friends, family and strangers that have been so wonderful during one of the scariest times in my life. I am so blessed to have so many amazing people who have stuck with me and watched over me and seen me through this. Thank you.

F is for FLU
Now that my halo is off, my body is working overtime to carry my head up. By the end of the day, all my muscles ache and I feel flu-ish. I imagine this is normal and it will soon pass.

G is for GRO
The name of my hair salon. I cannot wait to get my hair cut tomorrow, since it’s been 6 months since my last coiffure.

H IS FOR HALO
I saved the crown part. It will make a nice conversation piece on my desk at work.

I is for IRRATIONAL FEARS
For the first day or so, I was pretty scared to move around too much because I thought the slightest wrong move would fracture my neck. Pretty normal, I guess.

J is for JOKES
I probably won’t be hearing “Hey! Your shoes are untied!” or “Do you get better TV reception with that thing?” anymore.

K is for KLEAN
The first thing I did when I got home from the doctor’s is take the longest shower of my life. I stood underneath the showerhead until all the hot water was gone. Best shower ever.

L is for LOVE
Loving being able to put a shirt on over my head. Loving being able to hug my niece and nephew without stabbing them in the eye with a halo screw. Loving being able to walk around and discover the world all over again.

M is for MASSAGE
I plan on getting many to sooth my aching muscles. Even my shoulders hurt from the pressure when I sleep now. Everything has just wasted away.

N is for NECK
Mine is brand spanking new, and it comes in assorted colors. Nah, it’s actually quite stiff. It especially hurts to turn it to the right, because the fracture favors that side. But it’s beautiful and it’s all mine!

O is for OLD HABITS
Three days out, I am still shifting my entire body around to look at something. Mr. Brady could not trick me.

P is for PAD THAI
The meal we celebrated the halo removal with. My family wanted to take me out to a fancy dinner, but for some crazy reason I was craving Penny’s Noodles.

Q is for QUEASY
How I still feel when I see someone getting on a ladder.

R is for RECLINING
I can finally sleep horizontal. In fact, the supine way is all my neck can stand now. Sleep is kind of touch and go, though. It’s still not easy to turn on my side.

S is for SCARS
The holes in my forehead closed up within a couple hours of halo removal. It is incredible. I am told I will have tiny scars, but that’s okay. They’re a badge of honor for all I’ve been through.

T is for TATIANA
My guardian angel, benefactress and hero. She was my rock during this entire journey and I can never repay her for all she has done for me. I would not be here without her.

U is UP AND DOWN
How I can tilt my neck best so far.

V is for VANITY
Obviously, I have none left after posting that last set of photos with Dr. G.

W is for WOBBLY
How my head felt when I first got the halo off. Not unlike a bobblehead! Katherine Hepburn’s got nothing on me.

X is for X-RAY
I am stuck with about 50 sets of films. Any ideas for something creative I can do with them?

Y is for YOGA
I plan on doing lots to strengthen my spine.

Z is for ZIPPER TOP
I never want to wear another one for as long as I live, as that was the only outerwear I could fit over my halo vest when I ventured outside.

1 comment:

Samantha said...

Good use of the word "coiffure."