Rehabilitation is a bitch

It's been a little over a week now. Slowly falling back into life again feels so strange...oddly familiar yet foreign, too. There is a lot of fear involved.

Tatiana moved me back to my condo this past weekend. It feels so strange...I kind of got used to all the noise and mayhem at my sister's house, what with two teenagers in the house. Now everything is so...quiet. And I have to be a Big Girl and take care of myself. So many odd emotions swirling through my head.

I'm doing pretty well. Had a bit of a setback on Saturday. I picked up a bag of groceries that I shouldn't have (I'm not allowed to lift anything heavy). I freaked out that night and couldn't sleep, worrying that I had somehow reopened the fracture because I was in a good deal of pain. I spent the entire day in bed on Sunday to rest and heal. Am feeling better now. It's still not easy to sleep on my side, and my shoulders ache a lot. I have to remember that all of my muscles are so weak right now...the slightest wrong move can aggravate them.

I don't feel as flu-ish by the end of the day, but too much activity definitely wipes me out fast. I get flashes of numbness in all of my limbs still. At first, this also freaked me out, but I think everything is just firing and trying to heal as I adjust to life without the halo. I was talking to my sister, Sekita, on the phone last night. We were discussing where we would eat when she comes to town for the holidays on Friday, and all of a sudden I just burst into tears. The gravity of what could have happened to me and how my life could have ended up hits me at very random times. I haven't fully processed all of this yet. It's like I have post-traumatic stress about the accident or something.

The weather has been gorgeous and mild, so I make sure to take long walks in my neighborhood every day. Lincoln Square is so Christmassy and festive this time of year.

I still find it weird that Dr. G said I didn't need physical therapy. I'm thinking I might do it anyway. Mobility in my neck tends to get slightly better each day, but progress is slow. I can't even imagine returning back to the gym without some professional guidance. I also went to acupuncture on Saturday and Dr. Z said I'm healing well and should be much better in about three weeks.